


A Better Way

by RinHaruismyOTP



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Angst, Edward Elric Swears, Fullmetal Alchemist Ending Spoilers, Happy Ending, M/M, Post Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinHaruismyOTP/pseuds/RinHaruismyOTP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed's not happy with the way he finds Roy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Better Way

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger for suicide/suicidal thoughts

"Mustang."

He flinched, stomach lurching at the voice as the hand he had holding the revolver up to his temple shook. Of course this is what his alcohol addled brain would show him at this point, when he was _so close_ to getting some peace, once and for all. Of course his brain would show him the one person who could probably stop him from putting an end to his suffering. Last time it had been Marcoh, and there had been a time when Maes would've been able to stop him, but he knew now that if the vision had been of Maes this time there would be nothing he could say that would be enough.

But it wasn't Maes, and it wasn't Marcoh, either. It was  _Ed_ , the glorious visage of whom he had not seen since that day two years ago, when the flying machines and the suits of armour had rained down on the city as if from nowhere, but of course it was from  _somewhere_ , for if it were not then Ed, brave and beautiful, would not have appeared with them, and would not have left to fix things from the other side. _  
_

"Ed," Roy whispered in reply to the vision in front of him, the short - but not as short as he had once been - boy, who had appeared two years ago as a man, who had shown Roy just how well he'd grown into his natural beauty, the ethereal look of his features making him look so graceful, and, in fight, like an avenging angel. 

Roy missed him, missed the boy who'd rise to anger so quickly in response to Roy's snide comments about his height, or about his mission being an impossible dream which, evidently, it hadn't been, and though he'd made the comments at the time, it'd been more in an effort to protect the boy from getting himself hurt than a true belief that he couldn't do it. After all, there was really nothing that Edward Elric couldn't do when he put his mind to it, truth be told. 

And Ed's face now, the Ed in front of him, just looked so  _shocked_. His face was drained of colour, as if he were dead, and his eyes wide. Roy felt himself gulp. 

"I'm sorry, Ed," he mumbled. "I can't do this anymore. I've got no prospects, there's truly no one around to distract me from my own thoughts, I'm cold, I'm lonely, I don't even have the energy anymore to try to get back what I've lost, Maes is still dead, the team aren't  _my team_ anymore, and-" He choked down a sob. "And you're still bloody gone, and I miss you more than I ever thought it was possible to miss someone who you spend half the time arguing with when they're around." Roy tried to steady his hand clutching the gun. "I can't do this anymore," he whispered. "And a drunken vision of you is not going to stop me."

Ed still looked shocked, but soon it turned to anger, and Roy almost smiled at the familiar expression. "What the  _fuck_ , Mustang?" Ed shouted, and Roy was momentarily thrown off guard by how  _real_ the anger was. "Suicide? Really?" Ed marched towards him and it was all Roy could do to stop his mouth from dropping open when the gun was hit from his hand, landing on floor.

Roy's eyesight had followed the gun, but now he whipped his face round to Ed. Ed had... Ed had  _moved_ something, he'd hit something out of his hand, did that mean he was...

Real?

Roy shot up out of his chair and grabbed at Ed, almost crying out when his hand found and warm, solid body. "Ed you're...?" he whispered, eyes wide and heart beating at least thrice its usual speed. Ed still looked angry. "You're real?"

"Yes bastard, I'm real. And imagine how disappointing it is to finally get home - in, I might add, a horribly uncomfortable fashion - and finding the man you've been missing the most sat with a  _fucking gun to his head_. Do you know how  _fucking annoying_ that is?" But Roy was barely listening to his words.

"Ed, you're back, you're alive," he breathed. "How?" Ed looked irritated, though slightly calmer.

"I told you. It was uncomfortable. But we had a chance and we took it, and Al and I have agreed not to tell anyone more than that. We don't want the military sticking their noses into it, to be honest." 

Roy hesitated but then shook his head. "Then I won't ask. Truthfully, I don't really care, I care that you're here." He pulled Ed into an embrace and was surprised when, despite a few weak protests, Ed didn't really fight against it. He closed his eyes and tried to get it through his mind that  _Ed was here_. The whole thing had been remarkably sobering.

"Get off me, you stink of alcohol," Ed grumbled, and Roy finally let go and followed Ed as he went to sit down on one of the chairs in front of the fire. Then Ed sighed. "What the fuck Roy? Why would you even think of... that?" he asked, sounding confused and somewhat upset.

Roy stared down at the carpet. "I believe I already gave an answer for that," was all he said, and Ed shook his head angrily, standing up and pacing in front of the chairs.

"That's not enough. Those reasons aren't enough to make you want to kill yourself."

Roy laughed bitterly. "I'm afraid they are, Ed. Why would I lie, when I thought you were a figment of my imagination?"

For a moment there was silence, and Roy kept his head down, unable to meet Ed's eye. But then the strangled sound of a sob broke through the air, and Roy looked up to see Ed had collapsed onto his knees in front of him, hand over his mouth and eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Ed?" Roy asked, alarmed.

"You shithead," Ed murmured. "Don't you ever -  _ever_ \- even  _think_ about doing that again. You scared the life out of me." Roy felt shock run through his system - Ed was crying for  _him_ _?_ He slid off the chair so that his knees were lined up with Ed's and pulled the other man into his chest. His mind was racing, but he found that the thought of suicide, which had been so tempting before, now made him feel sick. 

"I won't," he promised, cradling Ed to him. "I won't." His mind was still buzzing, this time just with  _Ed_ , but soon his thoughts latched onto what Ed had been saying earlier, but that he'd barely heard. "Wait, Ed. What did you mean earlier when you said... when you said I was the 'man you missed the most'?"  _  
_

Ed pulled away, wiping his eyes and looking away at the fire. "Exactly what I said, idiot. I found that most of the time I was in that place, my thoughts and dreams were taken up by the last person I'd expected they would be. Winry, yeah, that'd be expected. Rosé, maybe. Hell, I'd expect to miss  _Havoc_ over  _you_ , but apparently I'm not really very good at judging my own... feelings... towards people. Or at least, towards you, anyway." Ed was blushing now, and Roy could honestly say he couldn't remember a more adorable sight. He put a hand on Ed's cheek, guiding it round so he was facing him.

"It's exactly the same for me," he told him, barely more than a murmur, and Ed's eyes brightened by a few fractions. Roy's free hand slipped up into Ed's roots, successfully ruining his neat ponytail, and Roy felt himself sigh over how the hair was exactly how he'd imagined, and he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ed's, whose eyes had flickered closed.

"Roy?" came the whisper, and Roy's own eyes shut of their own accord.

"Yes?" he replied, his voice as quiet as Ed's.

"I think I might... be in love with you." 

Roy's heart leapt and a smile came to his lips. The feeling of Ed's body so close to his was quickly becoming intoxicating, and when his words were as pretty as they were, Roy found himself afraid his heart would swell so much that it'd break open his chest. "I'm glad," he said, placing a light kiss on Ed's cheek. "Because I am most certainly in love with you," he said, hearing Ed's breath hitch. His eyes blinked open for just a moment, just long enough to see the smile that had spread across his former subordinate's lips, before he moved in the cover them with his own.

And if he'd thought earlier on in the night the way he'd find peace was through death, then he was so glad there was a better way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!! :)


End file.
